my heart is breaking , everything is breaking )': why can life be so hard .. at times like this . firdaus , i don't know what to say . if only i can see sincerity . i'm starting to see myself as his spare tyre ): you will come and talk to me , when you feel like and then you will leave me and again leave me hanging .. i know i did mistakes , but why all this ? you told me you love me , you told me you miss me . bt your actions doesn't show . you tbetbe changed like that . then , you leave me trying to wonder what did i do ): i understand if you're trying back to accept me , bt i don't understand . i can take that , and slowly you can see the changes tht i made , just the sake fr his love . when you jaap layan then jap macam taqnaq layan . then what ? i accept it , mayb this what i get fr breaking you're heart . i want to move on , bt i can't . i love you , not a little bt alot . i tried to think negative things about you , bt it keeps on coming to be positive ); but , why is all this happening ? lau sudah taq sayang , taqmo laa saketkan hati i , yang daa saket . i feel so broken . i don't know what to do , what to say to express what i'm feeling , bt i don't feel this feeling fair . i don't know if you really mean what you said . you contact alot of girls , i don't care because i know where i stand i'm just your ex . bt , i would really love tht you make me your no. 1 . cause this is what i'm doing nw . )'; i doa laa banyak banyak pt Tuhan , tht you can see how much you mean to me . Amin .
my family , is adding to my headaches and heartpain ): they decided to tell me first their eldest tht they are filing fr divorce after nofy's psle . for they don't want to disturb her focus on studies .. i guess no woman like living sharing their husband with another woman . now tht i know , tht my parents are acting infront of us . my dad love my mom no more . and my mom , is left crying everyday . it sucks just to see your mother cry and not being able to do anything abt it . i hate myself ! trying to show her tht i'm fine . when actually i'm not . masok keluar hospital , i told her tht i wasn't thinking about anything . i don't want her to wrry about me . bt my conditions are getting worse . wht can i do ??)): please let it stop . if all of this people really love me ): pleaaase ..i can't take it anymore
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