I LOVE YOU

i love him still , i love him so much ): i still can't manage to forget him ... everything tht we had gone thru together ): thru thick and thin . i still keep his text message , his voice the song he sung fr me , every night ): how can i forget all that . And guess who ruined all this , me ): nur fithriyaani . Now tht i have private my blog , i can say , i can put any pictures tht i had with him , just to let out , how darn much i miss this guy ): i know , i had done alot to hurt him ... i doubted him but i never never loved other guy ): i know , he doesn't believe it anymore . pretending to have moved on , when i have not . its like fucking hard siaa ! no other guy , can handle me better than he can ... how much i miss being touched and loved by him ... i ruined fj square ): its all because of me .. i broke his and my heart .. i promised myself , now look ... hmmm , i hated myself fr letting all this happen ); everynight , i cried myself to sleep whenever i hear the recordings tht we had together ): the video of you naaq go sarawak and left me fr three weeks .. i never texted other people .. i never called others 'b' except for him .. why won't he believe me ): yes , i may have given my email bt that was all . i never chatted or even meet up with tht person . i never repeat the mistake i did on our 4th month . bt you believe others , and not me ... i know i had lied , but my feelings have never changed since the first time . y'know me right ? i don't fall easily , for any other random guy . bt i fell for you , i fell hard fr firdaus jumaat ): you're the only one who really touched my heart . the problems i face , when i'm with you it felt effortless ): the courage tht i had from you , the person who lighten my day , even how dark it maybe ); my tears are rolling down ... i can't control , how much guilt i'm feeling now ): the sacrifices tht you made for me ): sacrifices we make just fr each other .. do you remember the time , when my father wanted to meet you . i thought you are not gonna come , just like all the cowards i dated before . bt you were different , you were so responsible , you met up with him , and gotten a warning to not continue this relationship , eventho i was beaten up like crazy , we still want to carry on with our relationship ): see how stubborn we are ? we thought nothing could ever separate us . the first time i ate ice kacang with your mother ): how nervous i was , and you tell me its was all fine ... when i slept in your arms , first time we spending time together after the 3 weeks you left me ): 26 march ...... do you remember ? i was back from my nyaa .. i was so tired tht i slept soundly , on your arms accompany by the sound of your heartbeat . you held me so close so tightly to your chest ): ... all the memories , the time i spent with you ): was the happiest time of my life ): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! FIRDAUS JUMAAT I LOVE AND MISS YOU SVM !